Your victim will 'enjoy' a pumpkin... custardy on the inside, wonderfully firm on the outside... delivered... hot if you like... to a front door, car windshield or dresser drawer.

THE HUMBOLDT HONEY
Rotted organic broccoli, cabbage, pot clippings and free range maggots encased in an organic heirloom South American pumpkin.

THE GODFATHER
Fetid feta cheese, fermented kalamata olives, putrified spinach and a very dead fish. Aged in a coffin.
(Note: Horse heads not available. This package requires maximum velocity to achieve full effect upon delivery.) R.I.P.!

THE FIDO
Canine excrement, from meat-fed rottweilers, aged in an oak barrel, loaded with wild onions and smothered with chicken liver gravy.

THE FLAMING FLOOZY
(For the cheating Ex)
Our special blend of advanced legumes: Black beans, fava beans and lentils. Aged to sweltering perfection, topped with limburger cheese, doused with Bacardi 151 and ignited just before the launch. (Quite a show at night!)

Below left: Madame Vendetta takes great pride on the careful aging of her pumpkins.
Below right: Madame Vendetta demonstrates the careful arrangement of pumpkin acoutrements.